Coffee & Kareem

Release: Friday, April 3, 2020 (Netflix)

👀 Netflix

Written by: Shane Mack

Directed by: Michael Dowse

Starring: Ed Helms; Terrence Little Gardenhigh; Taraji P. Henson; Betty Gilpin

Distributor: Netflix

 

**/*****

I really like Ed Helms. He is an actor I apparently will follow even into the seedier, more desperate corners of Netflix. I don’t know much about director Michael Dowse, other than the fact his résumé is populated with such silly titles as It’s All Gone Pete Tong (2004), Goon (2011) and Stuber (2019). Now there’s Coffee & Kareem, a ridiculous, over-acted (and, at times, ridiculously over-acted) crime comedy set in Detroit where the only things being enforced are stereotypes about white cops and black citizens.

Objectively speaking, this movie is uh, it’s . . . well, not . . . uh, not very good. Did I laugh, sure. I suppose the more accurate word would be giggled, like fans of Anchorman do the first six times they listen to Steve Carell utter random nonsense. That doesn’t mean I didn’t feel kinda bad about it later. Coffee & Kareem is a really crass movie that annoyingly uses racism for the basis of most of its comedy. The crime is that this Netflix “original” casts the likable Helms as James Coffee, a feckless cop who gets swept up in an increasingly violent and ludicrous conspiracy plot involving dirty cops and inept criminals.

The cards are stacked against Coffee from the moment he appears on screen rocking a “molester ‘stache.” He’s the laughingstock of the precinct and Detective Watts (Betty Gilpin) has it out for him. He gets demoted after allowing a criminal to escape his squad car, which, yeah that’s justified. What isn’t justified is the violent plot being fomented against him by his girlfriend Vanessa (Taraji P. Henson)’s bratty teenage son Kareem (introducing Terrence Little Gardenhigh), who already harbors a disdain toward white cops. But this is personal, so he seeks help from a thug to scare away Coffee once and for all. Actually, he wants him crippled from the waist down. He’s a charming kid, one who makes the foul-mouthed child actor from Role Models look like an angel.

In step one of like, a thousand in this grand plan to show his commitment to getting to know the family Coffee reluctantly gives sweet little Kareem a ride to his friend’s in a bad part of town, but really he’s inadvertently expediting his own wheelchair-bound fate. Kareem then witnesses the murder of a cop and soon the two find themselves scrambling to escape a trio of thugs (RonReaco Lee; Andrew Bachelor; William ‘Big Sleeps’ Stewart) and then things go really pear-shaped when Vanessa becomes involved. Hell hath no fury like a mother tased by her own child, and later assaulted by the same thugs after her son.

If cliches were a crime, screenwriter Shane Mack would be doing hard time. If predictability were its only offense, Coffee & Kareem might have gotten away with just a slap on the wrist. I get it; madcap is supposed to be high-energy and kind of crazy, but this particular story just falls apart the further it progresses. The wannabe-gangster kid becomes an irritant while the adult actors flounder. Helms is given few scenes in which he can shine, and Henson even fewer (though she does get one of the film’s highlight scenes in a motel room when she gets to open a can of whoop-ass on her assailants). Meanwhile, Gilpin has to be a better actor than what I’ve witnessed here.

With sloppy attempts at social commentary, ridiculous caricatures and often shockingly violent exchanges Coffee & Kareem is, in the vernacular of kids these days, a bit extra.

Don’t roo-doo-doo-doo-doo it, Andy!

Moral of the Story: Contrived odd couple comedy shoots for the heart but ends up hitting you right in the crotch instead. Fans of Ed Helms could leave disappointed with what he’s able to contribute. And I think I need to see another movie with some of these other actors (specifically Gilpin and Gardenhigh) in them before I make a decision on them. But on this evidence alone, yikes . . .

Rated: R (for ridiculous)

Running Time: 88 mins.

Quoted: “You f–k my mom, I’m gonna f–k your life.”

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited. 

Photo credits: IMP Awards; IMDb

The Gentlemen

Release: Friday, January 24, 2020

👀 Theater

Written by: Ivan Atkinson; Marn Davies; Guy Ritchie

Directed by: Guy Ritchie

Starring: Matthew McConaughey; Charlie Hunnam; Hugh Grant; Michelle Dockery; Jeremy Strong; Colin Farrell; Henry Golding; Eddie Marsan

Distributor: STXfilms (USA)

 

 

***/*****

The Gentlemen appears as a sight for sore eyes for anyone hoping for Guy Ritchie to return to form. After a string of generic blockbusters that kicked off with Sherlock Holmes in 2009 and then lasted forever, it seemed pretty clear he was not returning to his old stomping grounds — the seedy, criminal underworld of London as depicted in indie hits Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1999) and Snatch (2000). And why would he? Franchise filmmaking has rewarded him. His “hot” Aladdin remake turned out to be really hot — grossing more than a billion dollars at the global box office last year.

Like a sequel, The Gentlemen is not as fresh as the early Cockney gangster films that put his name on the map but it is another example of the transformative effect of Ritchie’s style and process. His movies are litmus tests of his cast’s willingness to separate brand image from the bell-ends they’re compelled to become as well as their ability to adapt on the fly to his extemporaneous approach to shooting. His latest crime comedy features as many plot points, diversions and schemes as it does famous faces, and it does not disappoint when it comes to watching big-name actors trying to wrap their mouths around Ritchie’s barbwire dialogue. Some succeed more than others, but with the sheer size of The Gentlemen‘s roster, it’s a pretty high success rate.

Oscar-winner and proud Texan Matthew McConaughey passes muster as Mickey Pearson, an expat who left his poverty-stricken life in America thanks to a scholarship to Oxford. As many a McConaughey character is wont to do, he becomes a major cannabis advocate. What began as a small business venture selling to the stuffy students evolves into a massively profitable weed empire founded on (technically under) British soil and through violence and intimidation on the streets. When conspiring circumstances force the old man out of the game, he triggers an avalanche of plots and schemes as a long line of potentials vie to take his place upon the throne. But it will take more than pure business acumen to actually oust a king.

In the simplest terms, The Gentlemen boils down to a potential transaction between two savvy businessmen who both happen to be Yankees — Pearson and billionaire Matthew Berger (Jeremy Strong, who seems least at home in this environment). In Ritchie’s world trust, like political correctness, is always in short supply. There’s borderline none of it here, with Strong’s annoyingly nebbish (but at least well-dressed) Berger possibly in cahoots with even worse people. Rogue agent Dry Eye (Henry Golding, doing good work to separate himself from a recent string of hunky eligible bachelor types) blows through the narrative, utterly unconcerned about the damage he’s doing and whose business he’s worse for. His arrogance makes him a true threat to Pearson’s power and legacy. Themes collide full-force in one of the movie’s signature scenes wherein a hopeful Dry Eye offers to buy Pearson out at an exorbitant price. And it is bad form to decline such an offer when it’s so clear his time is up as ruler of this urban jungle.

The characters are certainly worth remembering but the other big part of the equation is the deliberately convoluted storytelling. The Gentlemen is ambitious to a fault. It’s daunting enough to keep up with this labyrinth of relationships, clandestine partnerships and double-crosses unfolding. But, as it turns out, this whole farce is taking place in the not-so-distant past. The details are relayed to Raymond (Charlie Hunnam), consigliere to the King of Kush, by a gloriously against-type Hugh Grant as Fletcher, a smarmy private investigator who is trying to blackmail those who have wronged Big Dave (Eddie Marsan), the editor of a British tabloid journal. The framing device — “let’s play a game, Raymond,” Fletcher pleads like a school boy with a dirty little secret — overcomplicates an already stuffed narrative.

It’s not as though nothing good has come of Ritchie’s rise to prominence in the mainstream. The Gentlemen is a crime comedy of noticeably increased scale. We’ve outgrown the neighborhood of card sharps, street brawlers and estate agents and moved to the international ring of truly bad blokes and drug lords. Here you’ll encounter everyone from low-ranking British Lords to sons of Russian oligarchs and at least two generations of Chinese gangsters. There’s also Colin Farrell running around trying to repay a debt after his ragtag group of MMA fighters ignorantly steals something they shouldn’t have. For what it cost to make The Gentlemen, Ritchie could have made Snatch and RocknRolla with money left over to blow on van loads of ganja. Bigger doesn’t always mean better, yet from a technical standpoint the movie justifies the price tag — the wardrobes snazzy and the production design a classy, sleek upgrade.

For all that is ridiculous and excessive about The Gentlemen, I can’t really complain. It’s just nice to have our Guy back.

Henry Golding taking the mickey out of Matthew McConaughey

Moral of the Story: Come for the cast, stay for the schadenfreude (and the insults). There aren’t too many good people here to root for. In fact, that’s part of what makes The Gentlemen interesting.

Rated: R

Running Time: 113 mins.

Quoted: “There’s only one rule in the jungle: When the lion’s hungry, he eats!” 

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed  written consent of the blog owner is prohibited.

Photo credits: http://www.impawards.com; http://www.imdb.com

Hell and Back

'Hell and Back' movie poster

Release: Friday, October 2, 2015

[Netflix]

Written by: Tom Gianas; Hugh Sterbakov; Zeb Wells

Directed by: Tom Gianas; Ross Shuman

Hell and Back is the result of a very goofy experiment. It manifests as Tom Gianas and Ross Shuman’s crude mash-up of Beavis and Butthead‘s juvenile sense of humor with Team America‘s suggestive (offensive?) usage of stop-motion animation.

The long and short of it? If you’re a fan of things like South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut or even just the episodes of the show where Satan plays a prominent role in the narrative, this gleefully profane trip to the bowels of the underworld is going to be right up your alley. You probably won’t even mind the fact that ultimately the farcical adventure succumbs to being just too stupid — most of the time you’ll be so caught up in the visual oddity, the spectacle of buffoonery that it really is, that you will have missed the memo about anything making sense here.

Three . . . I guess you could call them friends . . . work at a shabby theme park that is about to be foreclosed upon due to its being just a total POS. There’s the hipster/punk Remy (Nick Swardson), chubby Augie (T.J. Miller) and the conniving Curt (Rob Riggle) who is really good at bumming things without paying back. When he once again callously thieves a mint from Remy after taking a blood oath, he finds himself getting dragged down to hell via a portal that opens up in the tent of the bizarre Madame Zonar. Remy and Augie chase after him by jumping in to the same portal.

The sooner you accept this development as the catalyst for the rest of your viewing entertainment, the better, because Hell and Back is very adept at upping the ante when it comes to the bizarre. Hell is depicted as a (spoiler alert) miserable place where souls are tortured without mercy, and Satan (Bob Odenkirk) rules like a badass while trying to impress the beautiful Angel Barb (Susan Sarandon). This is a world filled with degenerates and supreme underachievers . . . and H. Jon Benjamin-voiced trees that happen to be sex offenders. On the matter of torture, it can be hard to watch: there’s the Taco Bell/Pizza Hut split restaurant where you can’t buy pizza, only Taco Bell products; neapolitan ice cream is available but only the strawberry flavor and the escalators don’t work so you have to use them like stairs.

The adventure pits Remy and Augie against hell’s aggressive demons and myriad other dangers but they also find assistance in the form of Mila Kunis’ Deema. With her the pair set off to find Orpheus (Danny McBride), a Greek legend who can remove mortals from the depths of hell. They believe he’s their only hope of finding Curt and escaping with their lives. Unfortunately when they encounter him Orpheus is loathe to help as he claims to have retired from the game of saving mortals. (More on his story if you so choose to watch this film, but I won’t ruin it here.)

Hell and Back is a patently absurd production, and the deeper we venture into it the more the guys behind this seem to revel in the weirdness. Though it lacks a lot of the really pointed criticisms of contemporary society that Trey Parker and Matt Stone infuse their work with, this collaborative script is a relentless parody of Biblical cliché where the jokes (and swear words) flow freely and the visuals complement the material disturbingly appropriately.

When it comes to the impact of said jokes this is certainly a case of quantity over quality but that’s not to the complete detriment of the film as a lot of them land and land hard. A superb range of voice talent brings a ridiculous cast of characters to life, and while the story does sag like something I can’t mention here, when all is said and done, reveling in the weirdness is just too fun.

Curt chillin with Satan

Recommendation: Fans of Beavis and Butthead, South Park and Family Guy need apply. Delightfully tacky yet unrefined (wait, whoops), Hell and Back fits the bill of a guilty pleasure for those with a more cynical sense of humor. Some pretty good fun to be had here.

Rated: R

Running Time: 86 mins.

Quoted: “I’m so scared my shit just shit its pants.”

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited. 

Photo credits: http://www.dailydead.com; http://www.aceshowbiz.com 

TBT: Superbad (2007)

Time to break out your favorite JanSport backpack, No.2 pencils and loose leaf notebook paper boys and girls, because it’s once again time to go back to hell school in this second edition of Throwback to School September. (Catchy phrase, right?) Fortunately in this world, all you’ll really need is a backpack to throw in some illegally purchased bottles of liquor as you seek high school celebrity status in 

Today’s food for thought: Superbad.

Becoming McLovin’ since: August 17, 2007

[DVD]

Instead of offering my thoughts on this raucous comedy from the dirty minds of Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, I figured I’d once again do something a little different with this TBT and list the ten things I was reminded of about high school having watched this movie. I will just say that one thing that works in this film’s favor, aside from the ideal casting of Jonah Hill, Michael Cera and Christopher Mintz-Plasse — all three physically embodying high school seniors while simultaneously fully embracing their juvenile mentality — is a script that tells it like it is. After all, Superbad was never a film you wanted to watch with the parents, it’s too awkward. Just like high school.

TEN THINGS ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL SUPERBAD REMINDED ME OF

#1) Hormones dictate every decision (and purchase) you make.

#2) We gave teachers way too much shit. They’re too underpaid to be this under-appreciated, even if half of what they taught us we never ended up using.

#3) Some cliché about how generally useless P.E. classes were. Why couldn’t high school have recess, like the good old elementary school days? And why did we have to wear those tatty shirts that were cribbed from a Wal-Mart dumpster?

635730030912993969-954295581_superbad1

#4) Of all the rites of passages, getting your driver’s license was one of the greatest because it meant you could go and hang out with your friends whenever you wanted. Only drawback? Being 16 and having a curfew.

#5) Going to a party where you didn’t really know anyone and where everyone was older than you was the most uncomfortable thing ever. Especially when you found out that some of them were coked out of their minds.

#6) Teenage crushes. Awwwwwwww

#7) Every year there seemed to be at least one major fight. We’d always gather in the parking lot of The Fresh Market to see who would win. Most of the time all they amounted to was a bunch of shouting and insults regarding a certain female parental unit. But every once in awhile we were treated to a spectacular showdown.

#8) Peer pressure could be a bitch.

#9) Adults seemed lame at the time. (Spoiler alert: they still are.)

#10) Senior year is a bittersweet time. Friendships are fleeting, and who knows where everyone ends up in college. The trick is to make the most of what time you have left together.


Recommendation: One of the definitive movies about the high school experience, Superbad is a must-watch, especially if you’re facing your ten year high school reunion. Endowed with an incredible script that’s essentially a pervert’s stream of consciousness, and armed with superb performances from its entire cast Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg struck comedic gold with their story that’s loosely based on their own experiences. Pretty much a modern classic. 

Rated: R

Running Time: 113 mins.

TBTrivia: When this was being filmed, Christopher Mintz-Plasse was 17 years old and so his mother had to be present on set during his sex scene. I guess for some, the awkwardness from high school never goes away.

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited.

Photo credits: http://www.imgkid.com; http://www.mr-movie.com; http://www.imgur.com; http://www.imgarcade.com; http://www.youtube.com; http://www.ifc.com; http://www.rottentomatoes.com; http://www.fanpop.com; http://www.imdb.com

Winnebago Man

¥Winnebago_poster40x27-2

Release: Friday, July 9, 2010

[Hulu]

If you don’t know who Jack Rebney is, first of all — shame on you. Second of all, shame on you. And third of all, good news: it won’t be hard for you to find out who that is. A quick YouTube browsing will instantly pull up a five-ish minute video clip that made the guy an overnight internet sensation.

To some degree, we are all searching for it for ourselves — a way to earn attention from more than just one person at a time, a way to build an audience. We celebrate our daily lives through Facebook, Twitter, blogs and a whole host of other social media platforms. Whether its pictures we take, photos we share and comment on, or things we write or create we are more often doing things to make our presence known and felt in some way, shape or form. Existing and socializing in a place that doesn’t really regard the construct of rules and limits — the fruit is just there for us, for the taking.

But what happens when we do something that unintentionally brings unwanted attention to us? Do we recognize it, or embrace it? Would you?

If you think that the tables would turn, it shouldn’t be much of a surprise to learn that the subject of both the much-celebrated ‘World’s Angriest Man’ video clip and the documentary Winnebago Man wanted to get as far away as possible from the marks he unwittingly (and obscenely) left behind five years ago.

Unfortunately for Rebney he left quite some impressionable marks, inadvertently and deeply ingraining his name in the ragged cultural fabric that is YouTube and the like. Though it wasn’t the original concept, a sensationally humorous video compiled of a single day’s worth of outtakes created the impression that Rebney had just had the worst day of his life on the job. He was henceforth Googled as ‘the World’s Angriest Man.’

In the years immediately following the viral video, director Ben Steinbauer became determined to locate the man and ask him necessarily sensitive questions in an effort to gauge how this particular internet ‘celebrity’ was faring. Though it’s not exactly clear whether Steinbauer initially did this to form a larger study of all internet sensations who we never see or hear from again, or whether he had an interest in meeting this one particular guy — the results that Steinbauer found are undeniable. The video has had at least some impact on the way the man has led his life afterward, and in that way, it confirms the theory that one man’s entertainment is another man’s suffering.

Rebney has since secluded himself to the top of a mountain in northern California, and initially presents himself as a kind, soft-spoken man, a night-and-day difference from his (other) on-camera personality. As the documentary continues, Steinbauer’s first visit with Rebney turns out to be a bit of a false impression and it becomes clear later that the former salesman and journalist has his own agenda. Understandably, he didn’t want to be remembered for the video he’s featured in, and wishes to set the record straight with Ben and company. Fascinatingly, the grouch was once a mainstream news reporter who, having grown tired of that racket, switched to auto sales where he remained until the video surfaced.

Winnebago Man is both an experiment and a hoax. It is experimental in that we are given the same perspective as the young director. We often stand alongside the director as he chats with this eccentric older man. Most of the time the director knows about as much as we do on the subject and what is filmed is being filmed without rehearsal. The events contained within lack much of a set-up; there’s a sense of invasion of personal privacy in our wanting to keep watching, our need to get closer to finding out who this guy really is.

So how is it a hoax? At the same time we are wanting to know more,  it’s this same quest for knowledge that will destroy the illusion that existed when we didn’t know him as anything more than a foul-mouthed, fly-hating, accoutrement-mispronouncing salesman. Going behind-the-scenes, as it were, created a real connection to this person, and we no longer can afford to look at him as that guy who said f**k a whole lot in 30 seconds. Dressed in a suit. And sweating. Because here’s the kicker: Jack Rebney’s an actual human being. . . with actual opinions on issues more significant than his ability to swear up a storm. That’s how he’d like to be remembered, and he’s going to let everyone know that.

Perhaps inadvertently as well, Steinbauer gave Rebney a platform from which he could voice his concerns on matters such as the way Dick Cheney had bankrupted America or that the existence of Wal-Mart is a complete disgrace, among other things. With these bits and pieces we now see him as a real person and not just some blustery, cantankerous personality captured in less than five minutes of videotape. He may still be funny in his vehement anger towards Congress, but that illusion is indeed gone. Steinbaeur even convinces him to attend a screening of the famous clips at a Found Footage Festival in San Francisco, where he will learn to embrace his ‘fans.’ For the second time an illusion is shattered. This time it’s for the source himself, who has now been confronted with the reality of his situation. Somewhat charmingly, he can only awkwardly speculate as to what his appearance at this festival really means, as well as to what it means to the people he once thought were wayward, misled individuals.

Whether or not you feel like it’s a big deal that a camera crew went to certain lengths to track down the R.V. salesman isn’t as important as the fact that this viewing experience exists. Since you can easily find the entire documentary online and download or stream it for your viewing pleasure whenever you like, consider it all coming together full circle. There is. . . no escape. . .

. . .neither from goddamn jackass flies nor from the sensationalized world.

winnebagomanreview

3-5Recommendation: As enlightening as it is entertaining, Winnebago Man is a well-crafted documentary that ruminates on the state of socializing on the internet and the long-term effects that video has on their subjects. For anyone who has not seen the footage yet of the swearing salesman, you are likely not the target audience for this documentary as I believe you have been actively avoiding this stuff for awhile (you’re not to blame). If you have never heard of this documentary, I sincerely recommend that you give it your attention sometime.

Rated: NR

Running Time: 85 mins.

Quoted: “When I say it, and listen to myself babbling, that’s really the human condition, is it not? Right there, in simple terms, what we’re doing is we’re. . .we’re facing an enormous amount of adversity and it seems disastrous that we don’t let ourselves say what we really feel, what we truly feel. And I’m happy to say that I take some degree of pride in the fact that when I’m faced with that, and when I’m faced with it today I say exactly what is on my mind.”

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited.

Photo credits: http://www.impawards.com; http://www.imdb.com 

TBT: Bad Santa (2003)

new-tbt-logo

Growing up, one of the harshest realities we all had to come to grips with was the fact that jolly ol’ Saint Nick was in fact, not real. But oh boy, is he! He comes to life on the big screen in this knock-out raunch-fest in ways no good little Johnny or Jenny should ever know. . . at least not until they hit puberty. This might be one of the all-time greatest darkest Christmas comedies ever made, and I apologize in advance for the insane amount of gushing that is to come. In an effort to tone that down a little, I want to do something a wee bit different here with this TBT. Therefore, we will have a letter in response to this movie, written by an 8-year-old Tom Little (because, unlike many, I’m not ashamed to admit that that was the age when I finally resigned to Santa being nothing more than my parents’ best-kept secret).

Today’s food for thought: Bad Santa

BAD SANTA

Release: November 26, 2003

[Theater]

Dear Santa, when did you turn into a depressed, raging alcoholic?

I thought you were supposed to be jolly! Instead what I am seeing here is one, big, fat jerk!!! Actually, you seem to be too skinny to be Santa. And that beard that hangs awkwardly underneath your chin. . . . are you sure you are the real Santa?

When I first saw you in this movie, I didn’t know what to think. Mostly because I was sad. You dashed the hopes of millions of children like me. How could Santa be such a mean, uncaring person — a man who likes to drink more than deliver gifts; a man who, when saying “Ho-ho-ho!” is really meaning something else, I think, because he always says it when he’s around girls. I don’t understand what this means, but you’re not being nice I don’t think.

But not only is there scene-after-scene of you being a grumpy old bugger, but you steal! You are obsessed with fancy, pretty jewelry! Maybe it’s because I am young and don’t understand yet — is this how you give people gifts so easily in one night, you just take things and then give them to others? Can I get a piece of jewelry?  Also, for being jolly old Saint Nick, boy do you swear a whole lot! I don’t think there’s anything weirder to me than seeing you yelling and cursing at all those innocent kids that sat upon your unhappy lap in the mall. Except for one kid in this film, you seem to hate everyone. How big is your ‘Naughty’ list? How small is your ‘Nice’ one? I wonder which one I would get put on to. . .

Don’t you get any joy at all getting to hang out with your elf-friends. . .or midgets? Er, no, I think they are elves. I have never been to the North Pole, so I don’t know what a real Santa’s helper is supposed to look like. All I see you do here is go to bars and say rude things to people — even your short little elf pal who helps you steal stuff from stores you work in. Bad Santa. Very bad.

There’s another really big question I have. Is the lady that’s in this movie who is on the DVD cover putting her tongue in your ear — is she Mrs. Clause? Why is she doing that kind of stuff? Is that some sort of adult secret I don’t know about yet? I have to say, Santa, the way she acts around you kind of makes me uncomfortable. But she must like you because she always is near you and tries to make you feel happy.

Anyways, a lot of what I am finding out about you, sir, shocks me. I do have to say, though, it was nice to see you actually sort of trying to be nice and be a role model of sorts to this one fat awkward kid named Thurman Merman. He reminds me of some of my friends, who get bullied. For some reason, other people think it’s fun to be mean to those around them and make them feel really badly about themselves. But this is one time where you, “Santa,” actually stick up for something. This makes me a bit more happy. You probably aren’t the best role model ever but it kind of looks like you are trying to do the right thing towards the end of the movie.

I hope you eventually do cheer up and start enjoying yourself. You have a pretty special life, and you should make the most of it! You might not like your job but I don’t think a lot of people do. Please stop drinking so much because I am afraid that one day you might crash your sleigh into someone’s roof and get the reindeer all hurt. No one wants that!

Sincerely,

A concerned kid named Tom.

34038_gal

Naughty List:

  1. Not a film for everyone by any stretch of the imagination. This movie really limits its potential audience with the vast sea of profanity, depressing themes and Willie T. Stokes (Billy Bob Thornton)’s excessive alcohol abuse.
  2. This movie ain’t for kiddies, and is the epitome of what it feels like to be disillusioned. If you believed in Santa Clause before this movie, you sure as hell won’t afterwards.
  3. The plot is paper-thin but we’ll let it slide. Its “story” takes a backseat to the outrageous comedy.
  4. Santa’s not only mean, but racist. In the parking lot scene he accuses his assailant of being the reason his brother lost an arm fighting the Vietnamese back in the day. The guy was clearly from the Middle East.
  5. The passing of both Bernie Mac and John Ritter makes watching this movie now a very bittersweet proposition.

Nice List:

  1. Billy Bob Thornton goes against-type in one of the most offensive, but painfully funny lead roles he’s stepped into. His completely amoral, alcoholic mall Santa who doesn’t like kids is rather ingenious, and, dare I say it, refreshing.
  2. The Thurman-midget fight scene is one of the funniest things I’ve personally ever witnessed. From what little I remember of being in this theater ten years ago, I do recall nearly peeing myself in this moment.
  3. That Thurman actually ends up bringing Willie out of his deep, dark depression is kind of heartwarming. Emphasis on “kind of.” Everything in this movie is relative, so this relationship mostly is built on tough love. But it works, and its nice to see Willie actually have a change of heart.
  4. John Ritter and Bernie Mac contribute to the film’s comedy, but they offer different kinds of comedy, rather than the dark, bleak style that Thornton’s anti-hero and Tony Cox’s midget-elf offers. Their interactions with the wayward Santa makes for some pretty memorable moments.
  5. Even Santa needs a pick-me-up. In this case, it’s the cute bartender, Sue (Lauren Graham).

fuck-this

3-5Recommendation: It’s possible this is one of the most sacrilegious films ever made, but if you’re into that kind of thing, Bad Santa makes for gleefully offensive entertainment. Thornton’s performance churns out a line-o-rama that most kids shouldn’t be able to repeat after watching, but then again, kids are hardly this film’s target audience. Understandably viewed by opponents as an unnecessarily vulgar product and maybe even a waste of time, this is one strictly for the cynics.

Rated: R

Running Time: 91 mins.

Quoted: “Is granny spry?” 

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited.

Photo credits: http://www.imdb.com