The Belko Experiment

March 20, 2017March 21, 2017 / Tom / 2 Comments

Release: Friday, March 17, 2017 [Theater] Written by: James Gunn Directed by: Greg McLean Office workers at a mysterious nonprofit organization on the outskirts of the Colombian capital of Bogotá participate, let's call it reluctantly, in a twisted social experiment wherein they must murder a certain number of their colleagues within a certain timeframe or else everyone in the building goes … Continue reading The Belko Experiment

Why Him?

January 4, 2017May 29, 2017 / Tom / 9 Comments

Release: Friday, December 23, 2016 [Theater] Written by: John Hamburg; Ian Helfer Directed by: John Hamburg My biggest gripe with Why Him? It's actually not that it represents yet another painfully unfunny Christmas comedy. Well, it kind of is. I'm dismayed more because it is a painfully unfunny Christmas comedy starring James Franco and Bryan Cranston. Bryan Cranston! Also … Continue reading Why Him?

I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House

December 7, 2016May 29, 2017 / Tom / 16 Comments

Release: Friday, October 28, 2016 (Netflix) [Netflix] Written by: Oz Perkins Directed by: Oz Perkins I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House plays out as a chilly haunted house thriller with a literary twist. It's something a writer might gravitate towards given the film's concept-heavy plot, but an over-reliance on mood and atmosphere, not to mention some really pretentious dialogue, also … Continue reading I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House

Sing Street

November 21, 2016May 29, 2017 / Tom / 13 Comments

Release: Friday, April 15, 2016 (limited) [Netflix] Written by: John Carney Directed by: John Carney John Carney returns to the emerald-green shores of his native Ireland for his latest quasi-musical/romantic comedy Sing Street, his third such feature after 2007's Once and 2014's Begin Again. Though it possesses many of the traits that made his higher-profile, New York-set dramedy an … Continue reading Sing Street

Keeping Up with the Joneses

October 26, 2016May 28, 2017 / Tom / 15 Comments

Release: Friday, October 21, 2016 [Theater] Written by: Michael LeSieur Directed by: Greg Mottola For those who have been keeping track, Keeping Up with the Joneses is the second Zach Galifianakis film to be released in as many months, and it too is terrible. It too is a silly film, a very, very silly film. What's worse is that … Continue reading Keeping Up with the Joneses

The Magnificent Seven

September 28, 2016May 25, 2017 / Tom / 20 Comments

Release: Friday, September 23, 2016 [Theater] Written by: Richard Wenk; Nic Pizzolatto Directed by: Antoine Fuqua Try as they might, Antoine Fuqua continues falling well short of the benchmark set by his 2001 smash hit Training Day and Chris Pratt can't quite make this the Guardians of the Galaxy of the ole wild west. Despite bear-dressing-like-people jokes he is merely one … Continue reading The Magnificent Seven

The Disappointments Room

September 15, 2016May 23, 2017 / Tom / 20 Comments

Release: Friday, September 9, 2016 [Theater] Written by: D.J. Caruso; Wentworth Miller Directed by: D.J. Caruso I would be more upset about the way this anti-thrilling psychological thriller turned out but I brought this upon myself. I knew what Rotten Tomatoes had said about it. I knew no one was talking about it. No one was in the … Continue reading The Disappointments Room

Central Intelligence

June 25, 2016May 10, 2017 / Tom / 9 Comments

Release: Friday, June 17, 2016 [Theater] Written by: Rawson Marshall Thurber; David Stassen; Ike Barinholtz Directed by: Rawson Marshall Thurber I guess it's pretty difficult making an action-comedy work. Just because A Big Johnson and A Little Hart can save the world doesn't mean they can save this movie from becoming a centrally unintelligent, uninspired, unfunny mess. Prior to … Continue reading Central Intelligence

X-Men: Apocalypse

May 29, 2016May 4, 2017 / Tom / 25 Comments

Release: Friday, May 27, 2016 [Theater] Written by: Bryan Singer; Simon Kinberg; Michael Dougherty; Dan Harris Directed by: Bryan Singer In the midst of Magneto's metal-throwing rampage, a burning hot ember of emotion buried deep underneath the rapidly cooling coals of X-Men: Apocalypse, I glance over to find my friend fast asleep, head buried into his shoulder and a … Continue reading X-Men: Apocalypse

Keanu

May 6, 2016April 26, 2017 / Tom / 19 Comments

Release: Friday, April 29, 2016 [Theater] Written by: Jordan Peele; Alex Rubens Directed by: Peter Atencio The Cat in the Hat. Garfield. Sylvester. Mewtwo. Mr. Bigglesworth. Shere Khan. These are but a few of the world's most famous felines. You can go ahead and add Keanu to this prestigious list, because he's the best thing about a full-length movie that's kinda-sorta-but-not-really-at-all … Continue reading Keanu

Thomas J

My Journey Through Film

#lame