The Meg

August 15, 2018August 16, 2018 / Tom / 17 Comments

Release: Friday, August 10, 2018 →Theater Written by: Dean Georgaris; Jon and Erich Hoeber Directed by: Jon Turteltaub More like . . . The Meh. I really couldn't give a shark shit about this movie, but here goes this anyway. It says something about Jason Statham's box office pull that I found my tingling buttocks planted in a … Continue reading The Meg

Rules Don’t Apply

December 12, 2016May 29, 2017 / Tom / 7 Comments

Release: Wednesday, November 23, 2016 [Theater] Written by: Warren Beaty Directed by: Warren Beaty Toothaches. Internet trolls. Airport pat-downs. These are but a few things that grate on the nerves less than Warren Beaty's new film. In Rules Don't Apply, an ambitious driver tries to make it with a devout Baptist and aspiring actress who in turn tries to make it … Continue reading Rules Don’t Apply

Keeping Up with the Joneses

October 26, 2016May 28, 2017 / Tom / 15 Comments

Release: Friday, October 21, 2016 [Theater] Written by: Michael LeSieur Directed by: Greg Mottola For those who have been keeping track, Keeping Up with the Joneses is the second Zach Galifianakis film to be released in as many months, and it too is terrible. It too is a silly film, a very, very silly film. What's worse is that … Continue reading Keeping Up with the Joneses

Masterminds

October 6, 2016May 26, 2017 / Tom / 13 Comments

Release: Friday, September 30, 2016 [Theater] Written by: Chris Bowman; Hubbel Palmer; Emily Spivey Directed by: Jared Hess Masterminds didn't need to be masterfully made to be effective, but a little discipline could have gone a long way. Directed by Jared Hess (Napoleon Dynamite; Nacho Libre), the film is a comedic dramatization of the October 1997 Loomis Fargo bank robbery that … Continue reading Masterminds

London Has Fallen

October 3, 2016May 25, 2017 / Tom / 8 Comments

Release: Friday, March 4, 2016 [Netflix] Written by: Creighton Rothenberger; Katrin Benedikt; Christian Gudegast; Chad St. John Directed by: Babak Najafi London Has Fallen was a theatrical release I happened to miss out on and I am glad for having saved that money. Buying a bag of crack cocaine (which is what I did) would have been a better … Continue reading London Has Fallen

The Disappointments Room

September 15, 2016May 23, 2017 / Tom / 20 Comments

Release: Friday, September 9, 2016 [Theater] Written by: D.J. Caruso; Wentworth Miller Directed by: D.J. Caruso I would be more upset about the way this anti-thrilling psychological thriller turned out but I brought this upon myself. I knew what Rotten Tomatoes had said about it. I knew no one was talking about it. No one was in the … Continue reading The Disappointments Room

Morgan

September 3, 2016May 18, 2017 / Tom / 21 Comments

Release: Friday, September 2, 2016 [Theater] Written by: Seth W. Owen Directed by: Luke Scott No movie, especially one dabbling in the science fiction genre, has an obligation to make the viewer feel all warm and cuddly inside. You can be both the coldhearted bastard and The Year's Best Movie, but if you plan on being as brutally dispassionate … Continue reading Morgan

Pod

August 17, 2016May 17, 2017 / Tom / 3 Comments

Release: Friday, August 28, 2015 [Netflix] Written by: Mickey Keating Directed by: Mickey Keating The tradeoff for watching a movie as pointless as Pod is it won't be very taxing on your daily schedule. A scant hour-and-fifteen-minutes long, this half-baked story struggles to justify the full-length feature treatment and despite a few genuinely skin-crawling moments it fails to justify … Continue reading Pod

The Purge: Election Year

July 21, 2016May 16, 2017 / Tom / 12 Comments

Release: Friday, July 1, 2016 [Theater] Written by: James DeMonaco Directed by: James DeMonaco I am convinced the French marketing for the third Purge film (see above) is the most responsible form of it we have. The Purge: Election Year manages to be as inane as it looks and here is a movie poster that pulls no punches when … Continue reading The Purge: Election Year

Special Correspondents

July 12, 2016May 16, 2017 / Tom / 17 Comments

Release: Friday, April 29, 2016 (Netflix) [Netflix] Written by: Ricky Gervais Directed by: Ricky Gervais I'm suspicious of any movie that literally ends with the line "This is like the end of a movie." While exemplary of the meta flavor of comedy that's been en vogue since at least the mid-2000s, that line is also symptomatic of a … Continue reading Special Correspondents