Tag Archives: #500words

On the Count of Three

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Release: Wednesday, August 17, 2022 (Hulu)

👀 Hulu

Written by: Ari Katcher; Ryan Welch

Directed by: Jerrod Carmichael

Starring: Jerrod Carmichael; Christopher Abbott; J.B. Smoove; Henry Winkler; Tiffany Haddish 

Distributor: United Artists Releasing

 

 

****/*****

Jerrod Carmichael is a stand-up comedian known for pushing the envelope with his sets. Now he transposes that edginess to the big screen with his stunningly bold directorial debut On the Count of Three, a radical application of the day-in-the-life style narrative wherein two lifelong friends form a suicide pact.

With supreme confidence the 36-year-old not only directs and produces but also plays Val, a mulch factory worker who has lost the will to live. Following a failed attempt to take his own life, one afternoon he up and quits his job, stops talking to his pregnant girlfriend Natasha (an excellent Tiffany Haddish in limited capacity) and goes to free his friend Kevin (Christopher Abbott) from the psychiatric facility where he’s being kept following his own recent suicide attempt.

He then drives them in his Jeep to behind a strip joint during off-hours and, presenting a pair of pistols, explains to Kevin they have a chance to finally put their suffering behind them, once and for all. Before they go through with the act Kevin convinces Val they should at least celebrate their last day together. If nothing else, they can spend their final hours putting right a few wrongs, bringing their own kind of justice to the doorstep of those who they feel most deserve it.

What ensues is the kind of nomadic trundling you get in a Duplass brothers misadventure, except everything here feels dangerous. This is a movie that truly lives in the moment, a dark thrill ride marked by impulsive behavior and underpinned by a ceaseless, queasy tension. While Val has unfinished business with his abusive alcoholic father (an impressively against-type J.B. Smoove) who still owes his son the thousands of dollars he stole from him years ago, all paths lead to a showdown with one Dr. Brenner (a slimy turn from Henry Winkler), the psychiatrist who sexually abused Kevin as a child.

The script by Ari Katcher and Ryan Welch swims in a morass of strong emotions and twisted morals. Even at a brisk 86 minutes it can be challenging to endure, but like Owen Pallett’s score, a moody accompaniment that’s ominous one scene and almost whimsical in another, their story prefers variation over monotony. There is hope and even humor in this desperate last hoorah, one that also involves impromptu dirt bike races, a confrontation at a gas station (with entirely unexpected results) and exhilarating cop chases.

Finding a way to turn a positive out of so many negatives, On the Count of Three is made not just possible but palatable through the compassion the filmmakers demonstrate. That really comes through in the quality of the performances; while everyone takes their role seriously, Carmichael and Abbott, through wildly contrasting emotional registers, carry pain in a way that doesn’t feel performed as much as lived. The commitment results in a powerful testament to the support system of friendship, as well as a scathing indictment of the failure of institutions and of individuals who should know better.

** If you or a loved one is in crisis, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK or the Crisis Text Line (Text ‘TALK’ to 741741) to talk to someone who can help. **

Moral of the Story: On the Count of Three is not casual moviegoing fare but it’s also not an exercise in audience abuse, even when the mood remains heavy and dialogue cuts deep. While I do think this is a very important movie to have been made, I struggle to fully recommend such upsetting material to a wide audience. 

Rated: hard R

Running Time: 86 mins.

Quoted: “Thanks for hitting my dad in the head with the tire iron. You’re a good friend Kevin.”

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited.

Photo credits: http://www.impawards.com; http://www.imdb.com 

Murder Mystery 2

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Release: Friday, March 31, 2023 (Netflix)

👀 Netflix

Written by: James Vanderbilt

Directed by: Jeremy Garelick

Starring: Adam Sandler; Jennifer Aniston; Mark Strong; Mélanie Laurent; Jodie Turner-Smith; John Kani; Adeel Akhtar; Dany Boon

Distributor: Netflix

 

**/*****

As far as generic entertainment goes, you could do a lot worse than Murder Mystery 2. As far as movies bearing the Happy Madison banner go, you could do a lot more offensive. Neither of which is a firm recommendation, but considering the wobbly, paper-thin premise that barely justified a one-time outing I am happy to be able to recommend this at all.

With the same lukewarm chemistry as before, Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston reprise their roles as Nick and Audrey Spitz, a middle-aged married couple with a side hustle in private eyeing who last time out turned Monte Carlo upside down. Four years later the pair have somehow fallen up and are now full-time detectives, but their problem is they lack business. It’s gotten to the point where it’s affecting their marriage. Nick believes it’s a case of getting better marketing; Audrey’s adamant they get their license (after all, she’s read the Dummies Guide to Detecting cover to cover).

An opportunity to spice things up comes in the form of a wedding invitation to a private island, where their old pal Vikram “The Maharajah” (British actor Adeel Akhtar, returning alongside John Kani as Colonel Ulenga and Dany Boon as Inspector Clouseau Delacroix) is set to marry the wealthy and beautiful Claudette (Mélanie Laurent). But no sooner have Nick and Audrey begun indulging in the fruits of their all-expenses-paid vacation do they find themselves embroiled in another conspiracy — the colorful ceremony concluding with the death of at least one attendee and Vikram being kidnapped and held for $70 million in Paris.

Director Jeremy Garelick provides a couple of goofy sequences depicting our heroes in peril, but as a mystery this is pretty dire. The story (by James Vanderbilt, a writer whose credibility includes David Fincher’s 2007 crime drama Zodiac) lacks any kind of personality or invention, the sequel exchanging a lying husband for a poorly performing one to create some semblance of tension and character depth. Neither the list of suspects nor Mark Strong‘s Connor Miller, a former hostage negotiator for MI6 who turns up to do the job Nick and Audrey should not be doing, are interesting or feel like real people. They’re certainly not characters you want to spend time with beyond these 80 mandated minutes.

While Sandler and Aniston don’t quite fall into that category, they’re not exactly lighting up the screen either as they attempt once again to clear their name while proving their bonafides. Of course, the in-joke all along has been this lack of legitimacy — a couple of amateurs bumbling their way to professional results in a series of events tantamount to a miracle. The actors on their own are likable but as a couple they’re far from convincing, and that’s microcosmic of this franchise-in-the-making.

Though Murder Mystery 2 fails to take its basic concept to any new heights (unless you count the Eiffel Tower) surprisingly little about it truly qualifies as a chore to watch. Then again, just as much about it truly qualifies as worth remembering.

Duped ’em again!

Moral of the Story: These movies aren’t very good but I’d much rather sit through a third round of this kind of harmless wish fulfillment than a second more of Sandler’s desperately unfunny collaborations with the Rob Schneiders and David Spades of Hollywood. 

Rated: PG-13

Running Time: 80 mins. 

Quoted: “You’ve done hostage negotiations?”

“I’m married to this lady. Everything’s a negotiation. I got it.”

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Photo credits: http://www.impawards.com; http://www.imdb.com 

The Elephant Whisperers

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Release: Thursday, December 8, 2022 (Netflix)

👀 Netflix

Directed by: Kartiki Gonsalves

Starring: Bomman; Bellie; Raghu; Ammu

Distributor: Netflix

 

*****/*****

The Elephant Whisperers made history at the 95th Academy Awards by becoming the first Indian production to win the award for Best Documentary Short Film. It is the first time since 1979 that the nation, the second most populous on earth, even got a seat at the table in this category. The recognition may be a long time coming but this enlightening and heartwarming exploration of man’s relationship with nature is a real winner.

Directed by Kartiki Gonsalves, who spent years getting to know her subjects, The Elephant Whisperers takes us inside the Theppakadu Elephant Camp, an expansive stretch of forest in the southern Indian state of Tamil Nadu originally purposed in the early 1900s for timber logging but has since become government-protected land dedicated to rehabilitating and nurturing orphaned and injured elephants. Situated inside the larger territory of the Mudumulai National Park, the camp also serves as a popular tourist destination where visitors can feed and ride the majestic animals.

Lucky for us, The Elephant Whisperers provides much more than a casual meet-and-greet and doesn’t require advanced bookings to get in. We are introduced to caretakers Bomman and Bellie, distinguished for their efforts in successfully raising not one but two elephant calves — the coconut-loving Raghu and his younger sister Ammu. The film charts the course of how the two (human) stars met and how their own relationship has been strengthened over the months and years, while also touching on the heartache and loss that permeate their pasts.

What makes The Elephant Whisperers special is the profound sense of connectedness Gonsalves manages to capture, on scales both large and small. The film is full of tender moments that prove the stunning cache of trust the kindhearted mahouts have built up through time and dedication. Some scenes are quite powerful, whether it’s the presence of animals as Bomman and Bellie tie the knot, or the way Ammu expresses emotion with her trunk — a particularly moving gesture in the context of a heartbreaking development.

That connectedness extends to cultural and ecological aspects. As members of the Kattunayakan community, a foraging tribe native to the southern regions of the country, Bomman and Bellie are committed to the same tradition and labor as their ancestors and contemporaries. Through generations the Kattunayakans have maintained a symbiotic relationship with their environment, subsisting on the bounties of the forest while also protecting it and its inhabitants. Invariably there’s a dark side to this uplifting story, as we see how the ravages of climate change threaten not just Bomman and Bellie’s way of life, but the delicate, harmonious balance that exists amongst the flora and fauna of the reserve and well beyond.

In only 40 minutes The Elephant Whisperers provides a wealth of eye-opening information. Bomman and Bellie’s parental responsibilities are sometimes dangerous, always demanding and seem never-ending. What becomes clear quickly is this untraditional child-rearing is far from a thankless task, and seems therapeutic for a couple who, now in middle-age, have suffered their share of loss and heartache.

Raghu enjoys a bath

Moral of the Story: Deeply moving and featuring some gorgeous imagery, The Elephant Whisperers takes a positive and uplifting approach to a subject that could easily be told another way. Kartiki Gonsalves touches upon some of the issues facing people like Bomman and Bellie, but prefers to keep the emphasis on celebrating their unique dedication to these wonderful, incredibly intelligent animals. A highly recommended watch.  

Rated: PG

Running Time: 41 mins.

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Photo credits: http://www.imdb.com 

Cocaine Bear

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Release: Friday, February 24, 2023

👀 Theater

Written by: Jimmy Warden

Directed by: Elizabeth Banks

Starring: Keri Russell; O’Shea Jackson Jr.; Alden Ehrenreich; Isiah Whitlock Jr.; Margo Martindale; Ray Liotta; Brooklynn Prince; Christian Convery

Distributor: Universal Pictures

 

**/*****

Touting a game cast, an interesting director in Elizabeth Banks and just enough gore to please Quentin Tarantino, Cocaine Bear has the ingredients to be a rollicking good time. Adding to the novelty is the opportunity to see Ray Liotta in one of his final roles. Frustratingly several less interesting elements compete for your attention in an already paper-thin narrative loosely based on a real event.

In September 1985 a small airplane trafficking cocaine from Colombia went down in southern Appalachia. The body of the pilot, whose parachute failed to open, was found in a Tennessee neighborhood and the goods scattered across the TN/GA state line in the wilderness. A curious black bear, some 300 pounds lighter than the impressive CGI behemoth we see here, happened upon the packages and was found dead soon thereafter, its stomach stuffed full of powder.

Notably no one was hurt or killed, which of course doesn’t make for a particularly eventful movie, so embellishment is needed. What if instead of dying the bear went on a rampage in search of its next fix? That’s the long and short of this willfully silly story. It doesn’t need to be complicated. It does, however, need to be entertaining but the sweet release that comes with watching an ursine coke fiend go apeshit is hard to come by, particularly in the first half. In fairness, Banks attempts to craft some level of humanity, but it also seems like she’s over-engineering a simple adrenaline rush.

The cast of Hollywood actors feels a little distracting for a movie taking place essentially on a hiking trail (we’re mostly hanging out at Blood Mountain, a popular hiking spot in northern Georgia) but the tradeoff is professional actors can make believers out of you, no matter how silly the situation. Stand-outs include Alden Ehrenreich moping around as a drug dealer with a broken heart, Margo Martindale juggling her romantic life with her duties as a Chattahoochee park ranger and Ray Liotta sweating hard from the heat he’s feeling from his concerned Colombian bosses.

Keri Russell gets an “emotional” arc as a single parent in pursuit of her runaway daughter (Brooklynn Prince), who skips school with her friend (Christian Convery) to have adventures in the woods, only to become the first (humans) to encounter one of the packages strewn throughout the foliage. Far less interesting is Isiah Whitlock Jr. as an overzealous detective in desperate need of a doggie sitter as he jumps jurisdictions to track down these dopey dealers.

At BEARly 90 minutes in length it is a surprisingly tedious wait for things to get good. You need some reason to care about developments but maybe a short film would have suited this material better. Cocaine Bear delivers what is expected in random bursts. However, the campiness Banks is clearly going for is reduced rather than enhanced by banal observations about relationships and the evils of drugs. At least the human-animal interactions make that of The Revenant look like a date with Winnie the Pooh. 

The bearable weight of massive talent

Moral of the Story: Just say ‘No’ to this crazy-but-not-nearly-as-crazy-as-it-could-have-been comedy-thriller. Cocaine Bear is a film at odds with itself — not quite camp enough to feel like a legitimate B-movie and too limited from a script standpoint to be considered anything other than a gimmick. The so-named Pablo Escobear looks good enough for a close-up though. Spectacular CGI work from the guys over at Wētā FX. 

Rated: R

Running Time: 95 mins. 

Quoted: “I trusted you! The state of Tennessee trusted you! The United States of America, it trusted you!”

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Photo credits: http://www.imdb.com 

GoldenEra

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Release: Thursday, August 25, 2022 

👀 YouTube 

Directed by: Drew Roller

Starring: David Doak; Grant Kirkhope; Brett Jones; Karl Hilton; Graeme Norgate

Distributor: Cinedigm 

 

 

***/*****

For people of a certain age, few gaming titles sound the gong of nostalgia in the way GoldenEye 007 does. GoldenEra is a documentary that is clearly born out of that sentimental froth but it also reminds us why it’s more than just happy memories that make the companion game to the 1995 James Bond movie so significant. 

As might be inferred from the title, GoldenEra embraces an impressive scope with a timeline spanning years and which goes well beyond the August 25, 1997 release of the landmark Nintendo 64 game. Director Drew Roller delivers what feels like a pretty comprehensive point of view, and secures interviews from a wide range of sources, including key members of the GoldenEye 007 design team, to reflect on the astounding influence the early FPS ended up having from a technological and cultural standpoint. 

A lively mix of archive footage, talking heads and playful graphics, the early parts of the documentary are some of the most fascinating, the most endearing, whether taking us into the clandestine lairs of British game developer Rare — a literal barn in rural England in which stables had been converted into low-overhead offices — or introducing the renegade batch of first-time coders (and in one case, recent college graduate) who had no roadmap for what they were doing. They had, in fact, never developed a game before and learning how the perfect confluence of factors enabled them to do their thing unencumbered is some kind of revelation.

Their brief time in the spotlight may be excused in view of everything Roller is endeavoring to take on here, looking as much to the past as he does the “future” with nods toward the early 3D games it followed (Doom; Wolfenstein), as well as modern titans such as Call of Duty and Halo that owe much to GoldenEye 007‘s endearingly low-res concepts. On the other hand, the time he chooses to spend on other aspects seems like unnecessary filler, particularly a section on speed-running the levels and the various fan-made media that have been spun out of a love for the original.

There’s a lot of talking, and the fervent expulsion of enthusiasm can be hard to match if you don’t call yourself an avid gamer. That doesn’t mean a lot of the information isn’t interesting. Highlights include horrendously missed deadlines and the tension associated with selling family-friendly Nintendo on hosting this more violent, realistic game on their shiny new console. The fool’s errand of trying to replicate the success of the original leads to some interesting speculation, and a reminder of what made Perfect Dark a cool if still imperfect spiritual successor.

Released upon the 25th anniversary of the game’s release, GoldenEra is a documentary that goes to a lot of different places but always pivots around the basic tenet of having fun. Roller’s unabashed enthusiasm makes this nostalgia-driven trip back in time surprisingly dynamic. Despite a tendency to occasionally veer off mission GoldenEra offers up a slice of pixelated heaven for fans of the game and the movie. 

The man, the myth, the guy you probably shot every time you played the Facility level

Moral of the Story: With so many perspectives and angles considered, it’s hard not to look at GoldenEra as the definitive take on one of the most influential video games ever created. I personally enjoyed the more behind-the-scenes stuff up front but there’s a lot to take away from this love letter to video games, no matter what your experience level is. 

Rated: NR

Running Time: 100 mins. 

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited. 

Photo credits: http://www.imdb.com; Drew Roller 

The Volcano: Rescue from Whakaari

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Release: Friday, December 9, 2022 (limited)

👀 Netflix

Directed by: Rory Kennedy

Starring: Mark Inman; Matt Urey; Lauren Urey; Jesse Langford; Geoff Hopkins; Kelsey Waghorn; Brian Depauw; Ngaroahiahi Patuwai Maangi; Tim Barrow; Mark Law; John Funnell

Distributor: Netflix

 

 

****/*****

The power of Mother Nature is not the only thing on display in Rory Kennedy’s latest documentary, a gripping account that takes viewers up close to the disaster that unfolded off the coast of New Zealand in December 2019 when White Island, an active volcano, erupted with several dozen tourists still on it. In covering the chaotic aftermath as well as the daring, multi-pronged rescue mission in response, The Volcano: Rescue from Whakaari captures humanity in a spectacle that’s both inspiring and ugly.

Prior to the 2019 eruption White Island, known to the indigenous Maori as Whakaari, was a popular tourist destination, offering cruise line passengers and locals alike a rare opportunity to get up-close-and-personal with one of the planet’s most active volcanoes. Accessible by a 90-minute boat ride from the town of Whakatāne on New Zealand’s North Island, the martian environment ensconces the curious (and brave-footed) in alien greens and mustard yellows, crystalline streams of superheated water and gaseous pockets. That the vast majority of the volcano is submarine puts it all the more in reach — you could actually walk right up to the edge of the crater and peek into the acid lake (just be sure to wear your mask).

Kennedy is an Oscar-nominated documentarian whose experience dealing with raw and emotional human stories serves her well here. Inspired by an April 2020 article published in Outside Magazine, she depicts the catastrophic event with incredible urgency, grace and empathy, immersing the viewer in a minute-by-minute procedural, and in a place that goes from picturesque to pure hellscape in the blink of an eye. The visuals are both stunning and terrifying, a pulse-pounding mixture of cell phone footage and dramatic aerial shots.

The cinematography is but one element that gives you a sense of the scale and severity of the situation. Adding to that is the perspective offered by the far-flung pilots who dropped what they were doing to fly into a dangerous environment and against government protocol. But it’s hearing from those who lived through the explosion, such as American newlyweds Lauren and Matt Urey, who chose the spot for their honeymoon, that makes The Volcano a moving account of survival and perseverance — a testament to pain but also bravery and selflessness. For some, the decision to help others was a simple calculation.

Yet not everything is so black-and-white. The film becomes more complicated when addressing the bigger picture, the ethical debate surrounding who should be held accountable. The day-trip-turned-nightmare was an international tragedy in which 22 tourists lost their lives and another 25 sustained horrific burns. Availing herself to the expertise and experience of a variety of sources, from the tangata whenua to passionate tour guides, young helicopter pilots to first-aid responders, Kennedy allows the discussion to unfold from a number of perspectives, never inserting her own opinion or putting too fine a point on things.

Her work, as thrilling as it can be sickening, doesn’t need a scapegoat to be effective as a reminder of nature’s cruel indifference to our curiosity.

Moral of the Story: A thoroughly gripping documentary, full of emotional power and acts of bravery, and that can be hard to watch at times. Although director Rory Kennedy remains respectful by largely avoiding graphic imagery, the details shared in interviews are grisly and can be upsetting to hear. 

Rated: PG-13

Running Time: 98 mins. 

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited.

Photo credits: http://www.imdb.com; http://www.outsideonline.com 

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

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Release: Friday, November 4, 2022 

👀 The Roku Channel

Written by: Al Yankovic; Eric Appel

Directed by: Eric Appel

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe; Evan Rachel Wood; Diedrich Bader; Toby Huss; Julianne Nicholson; Rainn Wilson

Distributor: The Roku Channel

 

 

***/*****

Love him or just weirded out by him, there is no denying “Weird Al” Yankovic is a success story. Anyone who has survived four decades in the music business must be doing something right. The mop-topped accordion player who became famous for humorously rewriting other people’s lyrics has exploited a niche to the tune of five Grammy wins, six platinum records and well over 12 million albums sold — more than any comedic act in history.

Now there’s Weird: The Al Yankovic Story, an appropriately whacky and over-the-top comedy that pokes fun at fame and films (specifically the musical bio-pic) with almost reckless abandon. Rather than offering a straightforward account of what created and sustained Yankovic’s career as a song parodist, Eric Appel’s directorial début instead takes a satirical approach, producing a movie that, like its namesake, more often than not hits the sweet spot by being both ridiculous and clever.

Daniel Radcliffe continues to reinvent himself by stepping into the shoes and loud Hawaiian shirts of the “Weird One,” again taking to the eccentric like it’s his second language. Co-written by Yankovic, the story broadly deals with a creative person’s struggle to win the approval of his conformist parents. When Al’s love for polka is exposed one night at a party a major rift in the family opens up, prompting him to leave home as soon as he can. Weird embraces tropes like these and exaggerates them to comedic effect.

Living with his roommates Steve (Spencer Treat Clark), Jim (Jack Lancaster) and “Bermuda” (Tommy O’Brien) Al finds himself in a nurturing environment. Then the bologna sandwich scene happens, setting the stage for a wild and often very funny ride that sees Al ascending on one of the most unlikely trajectories in music history, becoming a hit sensation overnight and shooting up the Billboard charts. His rendition of The Arrows’ “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll” (“I Love Rocky Road”) catches the attention of his childhood inspiration Dr. Demento (Rainn Wilson).

His quick wit and extemporaneous style earn him a record deal with the Scotti brothers (portrayed by Will Forte and Yankovic in hilariously terrible wigs) but with greater success comes greater complication. In saunters a perfectly-cast Evan Rachel Wood as Madonna, a bubblegum-chewing diva who seduces and manipulates her way into Al’s heart and back to another career high. The filmmakers take the “Yankovic Bump,” a real phenomenon which saw renewed commercial enthusiasm for the original songs he parodied, and create a whole new paradigm wherein Al develops full-blown egomania, determined to make it even bigger by coming up with his own original tunes.

A tale of two halves, the first much stronger than the second, Weird is nothing if not a showcase of personality. As the production threatens to come off the rails late you can’t help but admire its go-for-broke attitude. Radcliffe’s sincere performance may be the only thing you can afford to take seriously, but the cumulative effect of the weird makes for an experience that’s easy to enjoy.

Great acoustics, terrible smell

Moral of the Story: Though it would undoubtedly help to find “Weird Al” entertaining, being a long time fan of his is not necessary, especially considering how little truth there is in the way the story is told. Weird: The Al Yankovic Story is a pastiche of the peculiar that falls in line with the likes of Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story and This is Spinal Tap — so if you like those movies, good chance Weird will be right up your alley. 

Rated: R

Running Time: 108 mins. 

Quoted: “You think you’re going to stop me from playing? You’ll see. One day I’m going to be the best. Well, perhaps not technically the best, but arguably the most famous accordion player in an extremely specific genre of music!”

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited.

Photo credits: http://www.impawards.com; http://www.imdb.com

The Tender Bar

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Release: Friday, December 17, 2021 (limited)

👀 Amazon Prime

Written by: William Monahan

Directed by: George Clooney

Starring: Ben Affleck; Tye Sheridan; Daniel Ranieri; Lily Rabe; Max Martini; Christopher Lloyd; Briana Middleton

Distributor: Amazon Studios

 

 

**/*****

Movies about aspiring writers too often come across mawkish and cheesy. It’s almost a condition, something that just comes with the territory and which the likable but cliché The Tender Bar doesn’t do enough to defend against.

Orange County set on the East Coast, more specifically Long Island, The Tender Bar is a coming-of-age drama based on the memoir written by Pulitzer-prize winning novelist and journalist J.R. Moehringer. Filtered through thick accents and an unabashedly sentimental lens, it charts his path from humble upbringings to Yale University and a bit beyond, exploring the influence that his family had on shaping his dream. Yet for all its good intentions and stretches of excellent acting, it’s a strange feeling to sit through something as banal as what we get here, considering the talent both in front of and behind the camera and the Oscar-winning pedigree of screenwriter William Monahan (The Departed).

While it’s certainly not the latter’s best effort — the dialogue is often corny, most of it unfortunately spouted by Ron Livingston in his Wonder Years-like voice-over — this is more about George Clooney phoning it in as director, failing to girder Moehringer’s memoir with a compelling cinematic treatment. If this were your introduction to the subject (as it was for me) you might come away shrugging the whole thing off as inconsequential. Moehringer is an accomplished writer but the hackneyed presentation doesn’t make him seem very interesting.

About the only distinction The Tender Bar has is a terrific performance from Ben Affleck, who becomes the role model J.R.’s biological father never was interested in playing, particularly in his childhood. He plays Uncle Charlie, a stabilizing force in the chaotic house into which young J.R. (introducing Daniel Ranieri) and his mother (Lily Rabe) are flung at the movie’s open. He’s also the bartender at The Dickens, a little hole-in-the-wall where dozens of books line the shelves alongside the booze. It’s here where J.R. spends much of his time, sipping Coca-Cola and inhaling life advice from his sleeper-genius uncle, whose own murky career goals belie the clarity of his wisdom.

The movie’s other asset is Max Martini who provides the antithesis to Affleck’s charm and warmth. As J.R.’s father, a radio deejay only referred to as “The Voice,” he doesn’t appear for long but enough to leave a bruise. The inevitable confrontation between him and his upward-trending son (now Tye Sheridan — amiable if unremarkable), although patently predictable given Clooney’s strict adherence to formula, lends tension to a story where most obstacles are cleared without effort. And if not effortlessly cleared, needlessly repeated — Briana Middleton’s appearance as a love interest does nothing to advance the story, only to remind of the elitism that swirls at the Ivy League level.

The condescension J.R. experiences here is what we feel throughout much of the story. The Tender Bar is pleasant enough but also basic. Like its subject and his needing to know what his initials stand for, it’s constantly searching for an identity of its own.

You’re the greatest inspiration in my life, bar none

Moral of the Story: Though sometimes too schmaltzy, The Tender Bar has occasional moments of affecting character work, especially between Affleck and the young Ranieri. But he gets along famously with both actors, and it’s that dynamic I’d recommend more than anything else here. Without trying to sound snobby, it’s just not a particularly deep movie. 

Rated: PG-13

Running Time: 104 mins.

Quoted: “I want to be a writer, but I suck.”

“Well, when you suck at writing, that’s when you become a journalist.”

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited. 

Photo credits: http://www.impawards.com; http://www.imdb.com 

Uncharted

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Release: Friday, February 18, 2022

👀 Netflix

Written by: Rafe Judkins; Art Marcum; Matt Holloway

Directed by: Ruben Fleischer

Starring: Tom Holland; Mark Wahlberg; Antonio Banderas; Sophia Ali; Tati Gabrielle; Rudy Pankow

Distributor: Sony Pictures

 

 

**/*****

For the uninitiated, Uncharted is a popular series of video games that debuted on Playstation 3 in 2007. Hate to say it, but the 2022 movie adaptation starring Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg will not be considered the standard-setter its source has become heralded as. Hardly anything in the movie qualifies as bad, but just as much is actually worth remembering in the end.

Relying on good, old-fashioned movie star power to provide some sense of personality, Uncharted follows adventure-seeker Nathan Drake (Holland) on a quest to find out what happened to his older brother Sam (Rudy Pankow) who disappeared from his life when circumstances forced him to leave the Boston orphanage they grew up in. Whip ahead 15 years and Nate, now a bartender in New York who pickpockets patrons for minor thrills, is given an opportunity to put his specific skillset to better use.

A sleepwalking Mark Wahlberg plays fortune hunter Vincent ‘Sully’ Sullivan. More loyal to money than to people, Sully is as basic a character as they come and the portrayal does not exactly go above and beyond. He is after a massive treasure chest stashed away by famed explorer Ferdinand Magellan. He thinks he knows its general location but needs Nate’s help in pinpointing it. More valuable to Nate however is what Sully may know about his brother’s fate.

So they reluctantly team up, a career opportunist and a naive newbie working together about as well as oil and water as they assemble various valuable pieces (a key, a diary, a map) in an increasingly complex puzzle. However some of the pieces require further assistance to access, and so an already awkward partnership is further destabilized when they rendezvous with Sully’s contact Chloe Frazer (Sophia Ali) in Barcelona. Mysterious and shifty, she’s a veteran of Sully’s game of deception and will do whatever it takes to ensure history will not repeat itself. 

In the villainous camp we have Santiago Moncado (Antonio Banderas) who, as the last living descendant, is desperate to restore the Moncado name in view of the historical embarrassment of his ancestors having lost the treasure. Banderas brings some menace but ultimately he’s outshined by the striking-looking Tati Gabrielle, who dials up the intensity as Jo Braddock, a ruthless mercenary who has her own designs on Moncado’s long lost loot.

All these competing interests theoretically make the movie more involving, especially when you have a dysfunctional group of good guys to keep an eye on as well. Because everything is so safe and routine the competition is not as exciting as it should be. However Uncharted comes more to life in the stunt work, which is kinetic, often inventive and infused with a decent amount of comedy. Peter Parker’s Cirque du Soleil moment at an art auction and the grand finale where everything is literally up in the air are memorable passages in a voyage that’s content to skim the surface of its themes and ride almost entirely on the likability factor of its in-demand leading man.

There’s no ‘I’ in TEAM. But there is a ‘ME’ if you move the letters around

Moral of the Story: Uncharted is an undemanding escape in which the compass always points to the wreckage of superior adventure films. The title is a misnomer for a film that is the very definition of average, one that shows the challenges of translating active participation of gameplay into the passive entertainment of movie watching. It’s entirely inoffensive and easy to get along with but if you’re looking for a more robust adventure, check out a younger, pre-Spidey Tom Holland in 2016’s underrated gem The Lost City of Z. 

Rated: PG-13

Running Time: 116 mins.

Quoted: “Nuns. Why is it always nuns?” 

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited.

Photo credits: http://www.impawards.com; http://www.imdb.com

The Bob’s Burgers Movie

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Release: Friday, May 27, 2022 (limited)

👀 Hulu

Written by: Loren Bouchard; Nora Smith

Directed by: Loren Bouchard; Bernard Derriman

Starring: H. Jon Benjamin; John Roberts; Dan Mintz; Eugene Mirman; Kristen Schaal; Kevin Kline; Larry Murphy; Gary Cole; Nick Kroll

Distributor: 20th Century Studios

 

***/*****

The Bob’s Burgers Movie is a summer breeze of an adventure that may not be remembered for long but is nonetheless an entertaining extension of the Emmy-winning series that began in 2011. Whether this flirtation with murder and conspiracy deserved the big screen treatment is up for debate.

Whether it deserved to be dropped into theaters quite so unceremoniously is probably the better question. One of the defining qualities of the show is the underdog status of the Belcher family and how humble Bob (H. Jon Benjamin) just can’t get no respect. So it is apropos that whatever hope this little upstart had of doing business got crushed by the big boys of the box office — eaten alive by Jurassic World: Dominion and choked out by the lingering contrails of Top Gun: Maverick. Like the store front, did anyone passing through the cineplex actually see the sign?

You can just add this real-world scheduling snafu to the plate of general misfortune that Bob has been handed through 12 seasons and counting. Stoically he endures, empowered by his mustache and the enduring love of his eternally optimistic wife Linda (John Roberts). And there’s never a dull moment with three children — socially awkward Tina (Dan Mintz), musically inclined Gene (Eugene Mirman) and rabbit-ear-wearing Louise (Kristen Schaal) — constantly having misadventures.

After being denied an extension on a bank loan, Bob and Linda have one week to come up with the money or the lights go out permanently. But then a water line bursts and a sinkhole opens in front of the store, putting a damper on summer sales. With a (questionable) assist from their longtime friend and loyal customer Teddy (Larry Murphy), they go mobile in an attempt to keep operations going, taking to the nearby Wonder Wharf where they inadvertently cause further problems.

Meanwhile the kids are trying to get to the bottom of a mystery involving the murder of a former carnival worker named Cotton Candy Dan. Apparently the sinkhole isn’t just an inconvenience for business; it’s a crime scene, one that may even implicate their landlord, Mr. Fischoeder (Kevin Kline). Louise in particular is keen to figure out what’s going on, motivated to prove her bravery following an incident with bullies at school. The ensuing investigation finds the trio hopping all over town, confronting strangers while overcoming their own worst fears and insecurities in the process.

The Bob’s Burgers Movie doesn’t present the greatest threat the Belchers have ever faced, it’s merely the next one. Granted, the danger element is slightly more elevated than the average episode and there are a couple of heartfelt moments that bring the family closer together. As a movie based on a niched show, it was never going to be a hot seller in theaters. As a movie about embracing individuality and not giving up hope, Bob and his never-quitting family might just find themselves with a new lease on life on streaming, where people can stop in for as long (or as short) as they like. 

Let’s ketchup on a steak out

Moral of the Story: Even though it doesn’t skimp on the ingredients that have earned the show a devoted following, The Bob’s Burgers Movie is more likely to play better in front of audiences who haven’t spent much time around this grill. There are some revelations along the way but overall there just isn’t enough going on from a character standpoint to call this a significant chapter in the Belcher family legacy. (That being said, I have been known to binge-watch the heck out of minor little movies like this.) 

Rated: PG-13

Running Time: 95 mins.

Quoted: “Hello, is this the police? I want to report a . . . a thing happened!”

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited.

Photo credits: http://www.impawards.com; http://www.imdb.com