Release: Thursday, November 15, 2018
Written by: fate, apparently
Directed by: meteorological patterns, a.k.a. Winter Storm Avery
Avery is a little independent drama that showed up in northeastern New Jersey/Pennsylvania, seemingly out of nowhere. With the potential to drop anything from 4 to 7 inches of early-season crud as well as freezing rain/ice accumulations of up to another quarter-inch, it’s perhaps too early a reminder of what we all went through last season, when back-to-back storms that dumped at least a foot each hit the northeastern US and rendered millions without power and heating for up to a week. Avery may well be a quality storm, but man is it ill-timed. I’ve only now exhausted the last of my Halloween candy.
In a common refrain heard all over town today, this is indeed, bullshit.
At least this isn’t 2011, when “Snowtober” brought an unexpected early Christmas present — and by early I mean, a winter storm predating Halloween that year. I wasn’t living in the Garden State at the time, but I’ve heard the stories — of the juxtaposition of orange pumpkins against pillows of snow, of tree branches snapping all the way down the line on Cobblestone Lane, resulting from the unique, combined weight of snow and leaves that still had yet to fall. Sagas of multi-day power-outages and of dedicated parents driving their kids to neighborhoods that still had power to keep the spirit of trick-or-treating alive. I heard that a town called Peru, in Massachusetts, received a whopping 32 inches in that one storm.
Crazy, right? But what does any of this have to do with movies, you ask? I guess nothing, at least not directly. This snow does, however, mean I will not be risking my safety to drive to the theater to see Steve McQueen’s Widows tonight. That’s assuming Cinépolis stays open through the weather, too. So unfortunately I will have to delay on that review, and a couple others as well (like Beautiful Boy, Boy Erased, and Overlord — yikes!).
Despite all the inconvenience (woe as me, I can’t see the movies that I want to!) I would like to thank Avery for forcing me to stay put tonight and actually, for once, watch a movie at home. Maybe even in front of a fire. With hot chocolate. (Marshmallows?) So in anticipation of the bullshit that is to come I went to a Red Box kiosk last night and, would ya know, they have that crazy-looking, Nic Cage-starring Mandy in their collection! (And that got me to thinking, too; what was the last movie that I watched via Red Box and then also reviewed? It has been some time, I think since last September when I checked out British war drama Their Finest.) So with any luck I will have my reaction to another bat-shit Nic Cage flick in the coming days. I am pretty hungry to get to that, seeing as the reviews on it have largely been raves. There have been some savage rips of it as well, and that only further intrigues me.
But first, time to shovel the driveway. Damn it.