Release: Friday, March 21, 2014


Written by: Joe Carnahan

Directed by: Joe Carnahan

Where this guy’s going, he’s definitely going to need roads . . . and a lot of luck.

Joe Carnahan’s Stretch is best enjoyed when your guard is down, when you’re in the mood for watching something that, taken scene by scene, makes little to no sense but is a perfectly harmless distraction when looked at as a whole. It’s messy and clunky and clichéd and occasionally poorly acted but the whole point of Stretch is embracing the ridiculous. If having fun in a movie is all that you require, jump in the backseat and buckle in for a wild ride.

Patrick Wilson and Chris Pine make the most out of a rather bizarre script that has the former playing a down-on-his-luck L.A. limo driver and the latter a bearded whack job with more secrets than the American government. The driver (a.k.a. ‘Stretch’) has recently been dumped by his gorgeous girl Candace (Brooklyn Decker, ouch) and, reeling in the aftermath, has allowed himself to spiral out of control again, though careful not to reignite his cocaine and gambling addictions from years past.

One afternoon Stretch is pulled aside by his boss who tells him that their main competitor is putting them quickly out of business by stealing their clients. Making matters worse is a $6,000 gambling debt he owes to a thug who promises some very bad things if he doesn’t pay up by midnight that night. Desperate, Stretch begs an employee named Charlie (Jessica Alba) to help steal clients from the competition — a mysterious entity known only as The Jovi — to help him keep his job and to raise the money needed to . . . um, keep his life.

Over the course of the evening Stretch contends with a litany of oddballs and lunatics, starting with a very unhappy David Hasselhoff who, lo and behold, is swept off his feet by The Jovi at the last second. In retaliation, Charlie directs him to a client The Jovi usually picks up, the one and only Ray Liotta. Neither of these dramatized cameos compare to the eccentric billionaire playboy/lunatic that is Chris Pine’s Roger Karos, whose outrageous physical appearance conceals the Hollywood hunk inside (save for the piercing blue eyes). Karos promises he will make Stretch’s efforts worthwhile if he commits to not only being his chauffeur, but to retrieving a briefcase from a certain someone.

Stretch is packed to the brim with absurdities, but they mostly exist in the visual presentation and a few chance encounters. Narratively — as a story of redemption — the film couldn’t be more pedestrian. Wilson clearly relishes the opportunity to cut loose, to become the “fire starter” Karos believes he can be. Wilson brings the fire in his performance, becoming the glue that holds together a lot of delicate pieces and thankfully he is quite the amiable fellow despite his history. As he journeys through the night, an eye on the clock as his midnight deadline rapidly approaches, Stretch receives a crash course in confidence-boosting. He transforms from a drunken pushover (or a fatalist, as Charlie describes him) to a man pushing over a lot of drunks to get to what matters most to him: delivering on his promises.

Carnahan certainly makes some trade-offs in his enthusiastic, over-the-top approach. There are a few moments where the goofiness is overbearing — do we really need the foreign subtitles placed beside a villain as he shouts his threats in perfectly understandable English? — and where the acting isn’t really acting, it’s shouting lines excitedly. It’s nonchalance. A good time to be a paid actor or actress. It may stretch credulity to the breaking point but ultimately the film manages to get to the end with minimal bumps and bruises.

Recommendation: If you’re looking for a quick Friday night jolt of entertainment, I suggest firing up Netflix and taking in all that Stretch has to offer: pure, unadulterated ridiculousness with fun cameos and an absolutely zany supporting role from Chris Pine. Fans of him and Patrick Wilson are sure to find them highly enjoyable.

Rated: R

Running Time: 94 mins.

Quoted: “If you like stories about chance and coincidence and fate, then here’s one you’d never heard. Boy meets girl. Girl almost kills boy by running a red light at rush hour. Boy is T-boned at over 60 miles an hour.”

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited.

Photo credits:  

15 thoughts on “Stretch

  1. I’d give this six slices myself. Saw it a while back as a random Netflix choice and was very pleasantly surprised. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before but I was swept along and the cast were great.

    Liked by 1 person

    • yeah i pawed around with the 6 and the 5 for awhile and then thought of how silly some parts were. Ultimatley though this is a really fun, good-meaning film that i think any score is going to belie. Glad to hear you’ve seen it too, i feel like it’s quite the under-seen film


  2. Pingback: Commercial Break #33 | Mettel Ray

  3. I have to admit I find this extremely bizarre when I first saw the trailer. Hmmm, I might see it just for Patrick Wilson and Chris Pine and his insane beard, ahah.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This was so enjoyable, the review as well as the movie itself. Pine was on fire! And I actually thought the goofiness came off as irony and it felt like a very slick way of telling how silly action movies sometimes are. So in my eyes, it was a very smart movie, and very fun as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s a great point actually, I didn’t really look at it like that. But it totally is a kind of tongue-in-cheek spoofing of the over-the-top antics of most action movies. That’s something I so should have picked up on but didn’t. I think mostly because yeah, i was distracted by Chris Pine’s amazingness haha


      • Pine is distracting, so I understand completely. I just saw it twice in a very short period of time so maybe that’s why I picked up on the irony. Though who knows whether it was meant to be that way, we all see movies differently and the next time you watch Stretch, with irony in your mind, maybe you’ll notice things you missed at first and things I didn’t even realize.

        Liked by 1 person

        • For sure! I think that’s totally what the approach seemed to be about, it was so over-the-top in places it definitely suggested parody. I love how movies can present so many different things to so many different people. It’s what makes this movie blogging and reviewing so much fun for me.

          Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.