Movie 43

95877_gal

Release: Friday, January 25, 2013 (limited)

[Theater]

Two or three months’ worth of frenzied anticipation. . . . . for THIS?!?! What a waste of my time, and of an excellent cast! As if the audience reactions (or lack thereof) aren’t enough to drown this gross-out “comedy,” then we’ve gotta think bigger: how the heck are the stars of this film reacting to how Movie 43 was put together? I mean, what were they thinking getting involved?

All the previews, community buzz and generally negative reviews thereafter couldn’t prepare me for the sheer stupidity of this sprawling mess of a movie. While I understand that is kind of the whole point to Movie 43 — I sensed a mocking, if not altogether disdainful view towards not just Hollywood (hence Dennis Quaid’s role in this film) but the entire human race given the level of gruesomeness — there simply must have been at least a baker’s dozen different and far better ways to shape this rebellious beast. In the weeks and days leading up to its release, the talk about this film’s potential reached epic heights. I’m not sure if people knew what was coming. . . . .like, they actually could sense the incoming turds about to hit them in the face with this raunchfest, or what the dealio was but the faces of moviegoers nationwide as they go into the film and then exit could compare to something like pre- and post-homicide mug shots. If my point hasn’t yet been clear enough, don’t go see Movie 43 if you’re not into tasteless tastelessness.

Only go if you’re willing to subject yourself to shameful, mostly pointless rants on the state of. . . . .you know what? No. No, no no. I can’t do it. I cannot defend any part of this film by using some description that would maybe give you the impression that there is something of substance to watch here. Maybe I’ll defend its raunchiness, like so: only if you are among the most hardened of gross-out comedy veterans may you find it funny how Movie 43 throws decency out the window like a broken television from the top story during a balls-out teenage party that galvanized 80s and 90s punk-rock movies. Those moments when you are just going all-out just to fail and fall harder and harder each time. You could think of this like Jackass, in some ways (hey, yeah even Johnny Knoxville is getting in on this action!) and then if you do, realize that when Knoxville does get his turn, it’s probably one of the stronger moments in the feature.

Yikes.

Let’s see, what kind of a cast do we have here that Johnny Knoxville may have upstaged (read: in the five minutes or so he got to be a part of this)? Well, you’ve got Kate Winslet, Hugh Jackman, Dennis Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Kate Bosworth, Justin Long, Richard Gere, Halle Berry, Josh Duhamel, Elizabeth Banks, Common, Seth Macfarlane, Liev Schrieber, Naomi Watts, Anna Faris, Katie Finneran, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Sean William-Scott, Uma Thurman, Jack McBrayer, Kristen Bell, Chloë Grace Moretz, Patrick Warburton, Gerard Butler, Stephen Merchant, Jason Sudeikis, Emma Stone and Kieran Culkin. My apologies to all those who I have left off that list. . .

I find most insulting of all about this gag-a-thon (not ‘gag’ as in “hardy-har-har” slapstick. . . .I mean more like the two-girls-one-cup kind) the fact that the MANY producers and directors could not make this thing work better with an ensemble like this. In fact, that might be the crowning achievement of it all: utter failure. To get back to that question I asked up top in my introductory comment(s), what must it be like to be one of these stars who were (un)lucky enough to be a part of this? Why did they get involved, other than to show the rest of the world that each of them, bless their little overcompensated souls, has the ability to say dirty and rude things like the rest of us lowly non-celebrities? Is this film really trying to purport that we are all alike as human beings, especially when we talk nasty and speak of and do stupid, ridiculous things? Is this meant to be the cherry-popping daddy of all gross-out films?

I see no other motive behind the testicles dangling from Hugh Jackman’s chin, or Kristen Bell admitting to her excessive pubic hair at a speed dating event. Cramming this many A-list names onto one bill was meant to be a buffer from (or, even more pathetically, as an enhancement to) the bizarre nature of gross-out comedies. Squirming in your chair from disgust potentially could be more fun if you trust the people saying it. We’re meant to be thrown by Emma Stone all of a sudden talking dirty (and I mean, dirty) to an ex-boyfriend in a grocery store, while the nearest microphone picks up the entire conversation for all the patrons to hear.

In reality, the only thing we’re thrown by is the discombobulation of everything put together. (Bonus points go to me since I finally get to use that word in a review. . .)

The movie is a damn mess and has literally no point to it. None. You can check out the plot on IMDb or on movie reviews elsewhere, because that alone will not tell you anything about this film at all. Here’s a brief run-down: Dennis Quaid is pitching his last-ditch attempt at being a good film director, and he’s got several skits planned out that he’s going to put together that will form a “heartwarming story.” Hah! These skits, in turn, are acted out by the vast cast and its pretty much downhill from there.

I will admit that I found myself laughing pretty hard more than a few times. I’m still not sure if these laughs were produced by what I was seeing or more from me coming to realize how ridiculous this film was intent on becoming. There are a couple of bits here and there that serve as light-hearted breaks amid the onslaught of buffoonery put forth by every one of its actors. (Et tu, Liev Schrieber??? What the hell, man?) Surely, this film could have benefited from a little bit of contrast now and again — more than the one or two skits developed that weren’t as offensive as possible. Movie 43 proves that one doesn’t need to be yelling the entire time to have their voice heard. We’ll get the idea if you just talk to us, treat us with some respect. As a viewer, you’re probably going to feel a little like an animal just for sitting through the whole movie.

96537_gal

Richard Gere’s face says it all

0-5Recommendation: I would say stay away. Wait for the DVD, because shelling out $10 for this one is simply nuts. I don’t regret it, since my curiosity about how atrocious a gross-out comedy can be was the only thing that led me to this point. I can no longer say that the bigger the cast, the better the movie, which is a shame.

Rated: R (for ‘ripoff’)

Running Time: 97 mins.

All content originally published and the reproduction elsewhere without the expressed written consent of the blog owner is prohibited. 

Photo credits: http://www.impawards.com; http://www.imdb.com 

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13 thoughts on “Movie 43

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  4. Sounds we pretty agree. In its pointless awfulness, it just evoked something from you: hatred, yes, but something all the same.

    It evokes nothing from me. It’s just too awful.

    • Oh wow James, sorry it took me this long to see this comment haha. In the process of linking back to old posts for an upcoming awards ceremony I’m doing here, I see that i skipped over ya!

      And yes, I think the movie was intentionally being as bad as possible to prove a point. It’s the most passive-aggressive directorial strategy ever. This was simply a bomb. Through-and-through. Glad to see you remained neutral, though to say your product managed to evoke hatred from audience members can’t make those people feel good about themselves.

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  6. I lucked out from the two of us at the Monday Movie Show because I have an unlimited card for my local cinema chain, so I agreed to review it. I can’t believe you gave it even one star, it’s so crass and filled with mysoginy, it’s just a disgusting crime that this got a theatrical release when certain others didn’t. The UK version has a different main ‘story’ than the US one with Dennis Quaid, though I’ve no idea why, no matter what you would chqnge about the movie, it doesn’t fix the main problem that it was ever greenlit in the first place.

    You read my review (http://wp.me/p1LZxf-Yo hope you don’t mind the plug), so you pretty much have an idea how much i despised this movie, when we did our podcast I almost lost my voice! You can listen to that on that site too if you want.

    • Cool! I will definitely give that a listen as well. The first thing I stumbled upon with you was your review of Django, The Sessions and V/H/S, which was thoroughly enjoyable. As far as this film goes, it pisses me off to no end because of the immense amount of potential it HAD even as the story got underway. It seriously just didn’t need to be as blatantly vulgar the entire time. Some people don’t know what the word ‘overkill’ is, or they don’t realize that shock value wears out its welcome all too quickly.

      And I gave it a one star because Gerard Butler as an angry midget was funny. hahaha

      • Thanks, We do a live show every Monday at 7:30pm GMT. I attempt to do write ups for major movies if I get time (which has been spare lately). Since we’re in the UK some of the things we’ll be reviewing may have been out there a while (we only just get Flight this week!), and occasionally we’ll get something early (Iron Man 3 will be released here a week earlier than the US, and you can bet I will be seeing that ASAP). Feel free to go back and listen over the shows, they’re mostly backed up on Spreaker, the broadcast site we use.

  7. Just terrible, terrible, and terrible. Not funny and almost painful to watch as it seems like everybody involved are straining themselves for a laugh or two. Sadly, it barely works. Good review.

    • Hahaha!! That’s exactly what got me to the theater — I just HAD to see why it was doing so badly. And now I know. I mean, some people may think this is a good film but I’m not one of ’em

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